Comedy time – just what will get you kicked off a Delta Air Lines flight?

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Every time I’m getting ready to fly I have decided to follow this new & improved 7-Point-Plan :

1. Don’t bathe for at least a week (or more)

2. Go barefoot

  1. Bring cans of spray paint to tag the jet bridge & the outside of the aircraft with

  1. Drink too much


  1. Put on sufficient weight so as to not fit in the seat & fasten seatbelt

  1. New slant on infant in arms – Require incubation

  1. Get sick with a raging fever


OK, I’ll do none of these things and that’s is a much wiser choice for us all so we don’t end up as one of the 50 or so people kicked off a plane EACH DAY! But we’ve all endured sitting next to someone who recently consumed large quantities of garlic, onions, or worse, beans! But did you know that having a malodorous condition is grounds for removal from a Delta flight? It might surprise you to see what else can get you removed or denied boarding on page 11 of the official contract of carriage!

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  1. I wonder if Rule #5 also includes “Contagious Laughter” as a condition for removal from a flight.

    Seriously… what if everyone on the plane is watching the same in-flight movie (a hilarious comedy no less… say Tropic Thunder) and there is an outbreak of “Contagious Laughter” throughout the passenger cabin. Are we all going to be tossed off the plane for our conduct?

    BTW, entire plane loads of passengers on Southwest Airlines flights are often found laughing together at the jokes and antics of the FA’s. Try the LAX-LAS or OAK-LAS routes and you’ll see what I mean.

  2. I noticed on #5 that you have to not fit in the seat AND not fasten the seat belt. I have had a few people sit in their seat and part of mine, but not get kicked off the plane. It is always a bad sign when they ask the FA for the seat belt extender when they sit down!

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