SWAG Saturday: $250+ Steinhausen Impulse Dual time zone Men’s Magellan Watch up for grabs

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one of the dumest survey questions ever

In this morning’s post we saw how a really dumb (and wrong) comment about breastfeeding question on a Delta jet could get out of hand very quickly. Reps say dumb things all the time. Not just reps, please take a look at the survey above and notice the 1st choice. Really? Hummm..

Impulse by Steinhausen Men's Magellan Watch

As always the SWAG Saturday rules are simple and HERE and please review them. Then on to what I need from you for a chance to win this nice Steinhausen Impulse Dual time zone Men’s Magellan Watch.

ravpower rp-pb08

Also, I will include this nice 3000mAh RavPower Luster Series Power Bank that RavPower.com was nice enough to send me a sample to test (you get a brand new one as they sent two). The unit is nice, charged my phone from 50% to full in about 1 hour. The unit also has a built in flashlight that is VERY strong. For the price, a very nice backup power bank you can toss just about anywhere when you need it!

So to win these two great prizes, I want you to share the dumbest thing you have been told or seen in print from an airline, hotel or the like (TSA is fine too just make it travel-ish). What made your jaw drop and you go… “HUH?” This is a PG-13 blog so if you need to use the [beep] in your comment please do as if you don’t I will. Have fun and impress us with your moment of stupidity you found! – René
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125 comments

  1. I cannot think of any situation that someone has told me from an airline or hotel – I guess I am lucky!

  2. This would be easier if we were talking about TSA!

    Anyhow, Disney hotels ask for your cell number so they can text you when your room is ready. But they never do. And each time I ask about it they say they only text you if you show up in the lobby and try to check in before your room is ready. But, duh, I wouldn’t show up at hotel before room is ready if they texted me like they said they would! Like why do they even ask?

  3. Those “don’t hang your clothes from the sprinklers” signs in hotels. If you need to be told….

  4. Flew AA one time, gave up my seat on a later flight that was over booked and took earlier flight to their benefit and told I couldn’t carry on my bag because I was flying standby!

    On UA got yelled at for chatting with my seat mate during the safety presentation. FA asked if I knew where the life jacket was and didn’t like my answer when I told her there were no bodies of water between SLC and ORD. Her response: “well sometimes we circle out over Lake Michigan on final approach”. And this was after I gave up my original seat so a family with an infant could sit together.

  5. One particular airline requires 48 hour advance notice when flying with a service animal. This is no big deal for me and since I’ve flown so much with them, the staff at the disability service office knows me by name. The issue occurred at the check in counter for my return flight, which had been rebooked due to weather. The gate agent, whom again I have seen numerous times, stated that my credentials were not tied to the rebooked flight and I would need to wait 48 hours before I could depart with my service animal! I called the office and the staff there were horrified by the gate agent’s ignorance. Needless to say, I no longer fly with that airline!

  6. ‘Do not bring electronics into the shower’ sign in a hotel in Vietnam. I hope no one actually tried it!

  7. Being told by a Lufthansa rep that I had to wait until the belt had stopped running to report missing luggage, only to find later that she already had a sheet filled out with my name on it.

  8. didn’t tsa start out as

    Federal
    Air
    Transport
    Air
    Safety
    Service

    until they had some jackets printed with the initials FAT… on the back?

  9. We flew American Airlines and waited by the gate.after 30 mins prior to boarding time We checked the monitor and it said we were at the same gate. After a gut feeling I went over and asked a AA rep at the next counter gate and was told gate was changed to this gate and boarding now. I asked her “why don’t u update the monitor or post a sign! How will people know?” There were a lot sitting by old gate. She replied “I’m on my
    Way to lunch and left” whaaaaaaaat the what?

  10. I once got into an argument with a flight attendant on a Chinese airline because my phone was in flight mode and he couldn’t understand what that was.. after a lot of hand gestures and holding my arms like an X he realized my phone was off.

  11. Not sure if this is what you were looking for but on a mattress run, an employee asked if she could stay in the room while I was not there since I was not using it.

  12. in BA first class, the FA brought me a box of chocolates with coffee, then a few minutes later took the chocolates away because as she said “another passenger wanted chocolates too”.

  13. I was on the phone just yesterday with AA Advantage customer service and it turns out that one can see more mileage activity when looking at one’s activity online at AA.com than the AA customer service reps can see on their system. I imagine that makes it difficult at times to provide good customer service.

  14. After spending a lot of time researching a trip from the US to Australia via Seoul using miles, I eventually had to speak with a Delta rep to figure out how to make a stopover work in NZ or HI.

    Needless to say, being told it was impossible to do either on Delta or on their partners was not the answer I was looking for.

    A hang up and call back later and Delta miraculously changed the policy just for me.

  15. TSA Pre-check on my boarding pass but due to the pre-check only using Metal detectors I cant pass through them due to a pacemaker and the TSA agent didnt want me to go backwards and out to the other side to the Normal screening area.

  16. Got onto a Delta flight in Minneapolis a few years ago, and literally saw the baggage guys outside kicking my luggage, on it’s side, over to the baggage loader onto the plane. Flight attendant was standing right there, asked her to look and showed her what they were doing. She thought it was funny. I didn’t.

  17. When I called DL to book an award trip that the computer on delta.com had found for me which had a LHR to EDI leg. I was told, I’m sorry, I can’t put you on that flight — even though it is a Virgin Atlantic flight, it is Aer Linus equipment and you can’t do it. I said, “But the DL computer said I could.” I hung up and called back (the Rene rule), and the next agent had no problem with this because her computer said it was allowed. Let’s hear it for the Rene rule!

  18. I was told by a pilot traveling in uniform in the seat beside me that if I didn’t fasten my seatbelt the weight of it hanging and pulling on the seat could throw the airplane out of balance. I thought he was joking until he got upset about it. No way that’s true!

  19. Told by KLM FA that we had to stay onboard in our seats on the plane AT THE GATE for 8 hours during an ice/snow storm at AMS. Music, food and wine kept us from becoming berserk!

  20. The funniest were the signs we saw in hotels in China in totally fractured English. We could never understand why the hotels didn’t hire someone who was a native speaker to proofread and edit! Maybe a matter of pride?

  21. Realizing that if a bad guy wants to get his name off the no-fly list, s/he only needs to do a simple legal name change!

  22. Gate agent told me this past weekend that F.A. advised all bins were full and I’d have to gate check, even though half the passengers were still in line on the jet bridge or aisle. I knew she was wrong but didn’t make a scene… when I got to my EC seat… room for five wheeled bags above me! Hopefully Delta CS sends some miles my way to make up for it!

  23. I’ve been told by Delta ticket agents at the airport that I could not purchase a ticket in person for the same price that I could find online due to their limited access.

  24. Being told by TSA that they saw a knife in the original scan of my carry-on but can’t find it now so they need to search me even though I hadn’t been allowed to touch the bag. Apparently I’m a magician because I made it completely disappear!

  25. FA closing bins when they are empty then checking bags for late coming people because there is no more bin space.

  26. There was a crad under the bed which said, “Yes! We do check under here! … But there was a pair of Men’s yellow boxer shorts under the bed! Eww! The visual is still with me years later.

  27. Not sure which has been the worst but:

    1) Ryanair..ok..fine I’ll finish..Gate agent on a middle leg of a multileg flight made me pay/check my hardsided carryon because although it fit in the size check like every other flight, he said he fit in to snugly (this time)

    2) any counter or TSA agent in any airport who has ever told me their isn’t enough time to make it to the gate.

    3) The migration for TSA “family” screening migrated in ATL from “Green circle” lines to handicapped/special assistance line to now general non-precheck.

  28. I made a reservation as a Senior Citizen in Economy and was offered a seat in Economy Plus for free! Then we tried to book my wife on the same flight (who is not 65) using her points and they wanted to charge her extra for sitting next to me!

    Needless to say, I am back in the cheap seats. 🙁

  29. Being told my TSA that I needed to be pat down since my underwire bra was showing up as metal in the scan.

  30. Because of the ‘no liquid’ policy, all children or really anyone can no longer bring their snowglobe on board. And if you know those things, you wouldn’t want to put it in your luggage. So now all airports stop selling snow globe.

  31. On a UAL flight from IAD to SFO, I asked for a Cuba Libre and the flight attendant asked me “Why do you want alcohol? Asians usually don’t want a drink”

  32. The complimentary water in hotel rooms that they charge you $2+ for. Why call it complimentary?!?!?

  33. Out of State Hotel won’t accept my out of state ID and cops had to be called as they thought it was fake

  34. Stupid Hilton whistler wifi has three options to connect, gold/diamond, hotel guests, promo code. Only one works, anyone wanna guess which?

  35. Oops!?!?*%*#)%*$&%* Checking in at DCA I was looking at an earlier flight. I asked the agent to change segment 1 to the earlier flight and to leave segments two-three alone. He clicked some keys and gave me new boarding passes. All were in coach since he let the computer change everything. I asked his supervisor to get the seats back and all they could both say was oops!!

  36. My Delta flight was cancelled. According to delta it’s because a crew was not scheduled to fly the plane.

  37. This was some years ago. Tried to board with a carry on CPAP machine. TSA agent gave me some grief so I showed him a letter from my doc citing the rules that allowed medical devices. He says, “how do I know your doctor wrote this?” I said it doesn’t matter, the rules still apply. Finally had to get TWO supervisors involved before I was able to board with a device that their own rules allowed.

  38. I was told by the TSA manager on site the reason I was getting a private pat down is because the gloves they use often give false positives in the sniffer machine. Their. Own. Gloves.

  39. Airline phone rep told me it was not the airline’s job to make sure the correct taxes on a ticket are charged and it is the customer’s responsibility to look over the ticket and find any taxes/fees that were being double charged…

  40. I was flying American last year, and the gate agent don’t know the ETD as they cannot locate the flight crew.

  41. I was told by the hotel staff that I had received a triple upgrade even though I was given a regular room on the first floor.

  42. I was told once that I had to check my normal size laptop bag because it was too big to fit on the plane. Keep in mind I carry this on every business trip with various size planes. I think they wanted an extra bag check fee =).

  43. In a memo sent to its frequent fliers Alaska Airlines announced that the prayer cards it has been providing to passengers on meal trays for the past 30 years will be discontinued as of Feb. 1 2012.

    Why? Don’t like it, don’t read it!

  44. Just this past January I saw a sign sprayed on the side of the Sheraton Hotel @ Ft. Lauderdale beach a sign that says “FIRE DEPARMENT CONNECTION”. Happy to send the picture 🙂

  45. Sorry it’s not travel related, but I got this gem via email from iTunes customer care:

    […] After looking into this R., I’m sorry to inform you that you are not authorized to create an account and obtain content from the iTunes Store. We are unable to provide further information regarding this situation. I apologize for any inconvenience this has caused. […]

    and a day after:

    “I wanted to send a quick note to see if you are still experiencing any difficulties with the iTunes Store. Resolving your issue is important to me, so please don’t hesitate to reply if you need any further assistance.”

    (IMHO the first email is ridiculous enough by itself)

  46. I don’t consider “complimentary water” in a hotel room to be so “complimentary” when it shows up on the bill!

  47. By volunteering my seat on one flight that I would automatically be guaranteed a seat on the next flight…haha!

  48. At LHR for an early morning flight on British Airways about ten years ago. I was the only one in line and the two British Airways staff were talking to each other and ignoring me for several minutes before asking me to come to the counter. I was told that I had just missed the check-in time! I ended-up making the flight after gently protesting the situation.

  49. My young family was in Nairobi and the hotel we were staying at offered “cots” for our children…ages 2,5 and 11. The hotel brought 3 “cribs” to our room that evening and our kids were mortified.

  50. I think the dumbest thing we’ve all been told (up until last year’s rule change) is that non-wireless electronic devices, such as game players, mp3 players, etc. had to be shut off during takeoff and landing because they’d interfere with the plane’s electronics.

  51. After a 2 month mission trip to Papua New Guinea…. we were flying out of Kudjip PNG..had assigned seats and were feeling confident until we got on the airplane and realized it was “every man for himself”! When all the seats were full…the people without a seat were sent back to the terminal…with their assigned seat ticket!

  52. On flight Last week I was told my upgrade can’t be cleared because gate agent doesn’t know how to do it. I was so annoyed, more at the fact than she was not knowing how to do her job.
    Then another agent walks over and tries to help but I’m told first class has since checked in full. OK, annoying but not the end of the world.
    I get on board, three empty seats in first!!!!

  53. S.W. airline rep coming over loud speaker telling flyers not to keep coming up and “bugging ” them for info on a flight delay. After about a 2 hour delay they did announce boarding would start soon but during those 2 hours, not a word from rep

  54. The one that comes to mind is when the use of electronics was still banned on takeoff and landing. The flight attendant said that we couldn’t leave as the onboard systems were showing that 8 phones were switched on!

  55. A couple weeks ago I was flying from SFO to LAS for a class, accompanied by my teen son. Earlier in the day I was asked if we would consider a voluntary bump. Got to airport earlier than expected, went to UA counter, asked to go on earlier flight, thinking I was doing them a favor since my flight was oversold by 39. They would put us on the earlier flight only if I paid the ticket change fee. Told them we would wait. Gave us $400 an hour later for the bump. Original flight delayed bc they had no flight crew. We got there an hour late, but ahead of our original flight and with a bit of extra spending money. They should have just put us on the flight and got us out of there when they could. That flight is always full/oversold,

  56. Being told a room is unavailable only because they want to delay us until the check-in time 5 minutes later! When the room was actually available.

  57. Delta claimed to not be liable for providing food vouchers because they said the flight was not delayed, this after being stuck in SVO for 30 hours due to mechanical.

  58. That my dream vacation would be possible by collecting Hilton points — only to have them devalue a week later.

  59. Someone else booked us tickets to vegas. Allegiant air. I was told upon check in I HD to pay for my carryon. As a frequent Delta flyer, that was the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

  60. As a top tier member of the hotel chain, when checking in was informed that I was upgraded to a better room. Turned out to be on the first floor next to the hvac units.

  61. Last year on a United flight FRA to IAH I asked the hostess for an extra pack of Splenda for the coffee she served me. I was in economy, so I wanted more sweetness in my coffee to “mask” the tasteless meal. Unfortunately, the hostess informed me that United only allowed her to give one packet of Splenda to each passenger per cup of coffee. She did, however, say that if she had an extra pack after serving all of her area, she would bring me a second pack. She never brought me a second pack!

  62. A FA told me my iPad interferes with the planes navigational systems and had to be switched off. She didn’t get the memo.

  63. Two come to mind:
    1. I received a mailer from Hilton for some sort of promotion for hotels in Mexico, and it listed the Hilton Albuquerque as a hotel IN Mexico!
    2. Driving down the highway at night, we saw a hotel with a sign trying to advertise their “FREE POOL” but the “L” was not lit. I’ll let you figure out what that spelled.

  64. A hotel that wanted $165 per night when I walked in and Hoteltonight had the same room for $119/night. I had to explain that I could book it from the car and he would pay a commission.

  65. Flight was canceled. Checked Kayak and found a one way car rental TVC-DTW for $40. Talked to manager at the counter and he said he only had $85 rentals. I left, booked on kayak, came back and he was a little ticked but I had a $40 rental.

  66. That I was partially at fault for being bumped on an overbooking because I chose to fly at a popular time.

  67. Was flying biz class on Air France with only carry on. I had no trouble carry on from LAX, on the way back from CDG, gate agent said I could not carry on. I told her that I carried on from LAX with no trouble, she said they should not have let me. From CDG to JFK, picked bag from carousel and asked AF agent if I can carry on and they said, sure.

  68. Totally forgot about the last time that I flew US Air. It is actually what made it the last time. I was flying from ORD to FLL and was trying to catch an earlier flight in order to get home in time to see my son on his birthday. The person at the ticket counter got me moved to the earlier flight and then her printer jammed. She told me to use my existing paperwork to get through security as I had to run for it. I get to the gate, where the gate agent ignores me and helps other people that got there after me.

    I explained several times that the ticket counter changed me to her flight and she would not even look me up in the computer. She then went and closed the flight, without even looking me up. The flight left with 13 empty seats.

    I raised such a stink that her supervisor came over and gave me a food voucher for my trouble. After getting something to eat, I went to the service counter, where the same agent was now working and asked about the my upgrade status. At this point she finally looks me up in the computer and says “oh, I should have let you that flight, the system says you missed your flight. I am going to have to put you on standby on your original flight, I would write a letter if I were you”.

    I have refused to fly them since and switched back to Delta.

    Gregg

  69. At a hotel in China, they attempted to prevent guests from stealing items in the room by placing a price tage on EVERY item in the room, including the garbage can.

  70. A friend of mine has just an ID instead of a driver’s license because she doesn’t drive. She was once told at check-in that only driver’s licenses were accepted as identification. It took two different supervisors to sort it out.

  71. On a small plane from the Bahamas being told someone was very sick on the plane and we had to go back. A bomb threat had been called in on the plane so I get they had to come up with something but we all knew it was a lie.

  72. With Admiral’s Club access being provided by Alaska Airlines in SEA, you can only access the lounge as an Admiral’s Club member if on AA metal. Doesn’t matter that you booked your flight thru AA and are on Alaska metal. I couldn’t believe it either until I personally verified on my flight this weekend.

  73. I recently got a pass for “complementary breakfast” at Holiday Inn that they said I would need to show the next morning. I had the “best flexible rate with breakfast”, so I had acually PAID for breakfast.

    I need the best flexible with breakfast rate for IHG Big Win (bummer), so I hope it goes through right.

  74. The KLM policy that while on the ground and the plane is refueling during a short stopover you have to remain seated and with your seat belt on. How could passenger movement on the plane effect the refueling process? And if it is such and issue shouldn’t we get off the plane? Needless to say the Dutch Purser strictly enforced that rule and has no good answers to why this policy exists except for…”safety”!

  75. Calling in to book an award ticket on Saudia metal through Delta only to get told we have no such partner. After telling them that Saudia is indeed on SkyTeam, again getting a flat denial and brush off.

  76. I once flew WAS-EWR-BOS-EWR-CLT to rack up a few extra segments on United. Unfortunately, the items I carry for work usually have to be checked, and since the routing looped through EWR twice, their systems had trouble issuing a bag tag that would get my luggage from WAS to CLT without having to exit security in EWR to claim and re-check it. The agent wasn’t sure how to create a hand-written bag tag, and called over a supervisor.

    The supervisor took one look at my itinerary and declared it an “illegal routing,” insisting that you could never legally fly through the same airport twice on a trip. My jaw definitely dropped! I had a heck of a time keeping my cool – it was before dawn, I was exhausted, and I was seriously wondering if I was going to miss my flight because of this craziness. I pointed out that the ticket had been issued by their website and didn’t seem to violate any terms in the Contract of Carriage (which I actually skim, for times like this) – if I wanted to fly back and forth between the same airports, and was paying to do so, why should he care? He couldn’t articulate any reasons or pull up any documentation to support his assessment, just kept telling me I couldn’t fly this route because it was “illegal” (which always cracks me up, because the connotation is that I’m committing some sort of heinous crime by… going to Newark).

    Eventually he gave in, saying that he didn’t see any way to stop me from flying this crazy itinerary, and showed the agent how to manually create a bag tag. After he walked away, the agent quietly told me she was just going to tag my bag WAS-EWR-CLT and skip the BOS portion of the itinerary. (This, of course, reminds me of another crazy thing that CO/UA always told me – that my bag had to accompany me on every flight! Clearly, it doesn’t when it goes on an earlier flight and beats me there, gets delayed and goes on a later flight, or an agent changes its routing.)

    I made it, my bag made it, and the whole ordeal had caught the attention of all of the ground crew who were at the counter that morning. So when I made it to the gate, I had an awesome conversation with a flight attendant who told me that if he were working my day’s itinerary, it would be illegal! 😉

  77. A United supervisor told me that if a partner airline has a schedule change on one of the flights they cancel your whole itinerary, I asked which of my six segments was cancelled he said all of them. I said who cancelled them, he said you did on the web site. Huh?

  78. Oh, I have to share a hotel story, too!

    I’ve had a couple of abysmal stays at the Flamingo in Las Vegas. The first time I stayed there, I got an “upgraded” room that was a disaster – tub didn’t work, sink didn’t drain, outlets missing covers, shower curtain half ripped down. They wouldn’t switch my room because the hotel was “completely full,” so I called maintenance repeatedly to get everything fixed.

    I came back from dinner to find that they’d fixed some things… but had also taken all of my toilet paper and left me a note that said that the hotel has run out of toilet paper!!! I assume my rolls went to someone more deserving.

    (And because I’m a frugal idiot, I stayed at the Flamingo again a couple of years later… and got an uncleaned room with dirty towels in the bathroom and trash in the trash cans. Housekeeping refused to change the bedding because “they could tell it was clean.” That was far less hilarious, but another jaw-dropper.)

  79. Train station information counter in Russia. The sign said–Answers to questions: Free; Answers to dificult questions: 25 rubles ($.90). It wasn’t a joke like some signs you see like that in the U.S.–this was an engraved sign and they were serious. But totally cracked me up.

  80. The dumbest thing I heard from an airline was when I discovered that an item was stolen from my delayed baggage (double whammy!). I was told by a rep that I could only submit the claim at the office baggage claim, in person, with 24 hours of landing. I received my baggage 50+ hours after my arrival time, plus was three hours from the airport! Thankfully, I called back and was simply given an email address to submit my claim with pictures.

  81. I received wrong, and stupid, information from the Skyteam transfers desk at LHR Terminal 4. I had started the day with a 6am flight from BUD to AMS that was cancelled and I was put on a later BA nonstop to LHR ( my original was BUD – AMS- LHR- MSP). I missed my flight to MSP as a result but arrived at the transfers desk at 3:20 pm and asked to be placed on the 5:30 pm flight to JFK, connecting the next morning to MSP. I had a business class ticket but since there were no seats in that class I agreed to fly economy. I also agreed to pay my own lodging in NY. After several discussions with the three people at the desk and their supervisor, I was told I could not take the JFK flight because my original ticket did not allow stopovers. They suggested I buy a new ticket for $1300. I refused and argued and they then suggested that I had overslept and intentionally missed my flight. I did point out that they could see my entire reservation since all segments were booked on Delta and, oh, btw, I am standing in the TRANSFERS section of the airport, Einstein! They refused to allow me on the JFK flight and charged me a $450 penalty to fly the MSP flight the next day. The diamond desk later reversed this charge. I would have been able to resolve this with Delta directly….if my new smartphone had been properly configured with global access ( more stupidity on the part of my company’s IT dept.)

  82. A hotel I was staying at had a floor plan that showed where to go for the stairs in case of a fire, very typical. However, the exits they showed did not exist! The floor plan was from a different hotel.

  83. I was told by AirTran that we could not use the upfront bathroom in both directions from Aruba unless you were in the first three rows.

  84. I was told by a Delta gate agent that pre-boarding was only for those with physical disabilities requiring additional time to board.

    My left leg (ankle to hip) was in an obvious full immobilizer.

    Apparently, I should have requested a florescent green immobilizer to make it more obvious.

  85. was once told by a hotel that they had cancelled my reservation because “i had not replied to their emails for confirmation” – turns out they never sent it because it was stuck in their draft folder!!

  86. Arrive to sit on my CRJ2 and there is a ~700 lb person in the both seats (one of which is mine). I was told that since there were no other seats on the plane, I would need to take an alternate flight if I could not fit (I am a 240lb guy).

  87. I once had a Delta phone agent tell me (after a schedule change) that a 48 minute connection from DL–>AF at LAX was easy! Had to get a supervisor to switch me to an earlier flight. Clearly, she had never been to LAX to see what a nightmare that would be!

  88. I’ve had many moments of silliness when it comes to travelling, but for me what is really dumb is the level of complexity that programs like SkyMiles have attained. It’s like the tax code with all its rules and exceptions. If it were simplified to just accomplish the basic goal of attracting and retaining loyal, long-term customers (revenue sources), imagine how many fewer reps they would need to answer the myriad questions that inevitably arise.

  89. UA agent wouldn’t switch me to an earlier den-asp flight because she said my luggage wouldn’t be with me even though I told her I watched it board the earlier flight, and she could have checked and of course my luggage got there before me.

  90. Several years ago, I had an inbound flight to Atlanta that was late enough that my connection was in danger. After getting off the inbound plane, I immediately made my way to the gate where my connection was departing. The problem was compounded by the fact that I was going from one side of the airport to the other. But I did not stop at the restroom, did not pass Go, did not collect $200, etc. As I was hurrying down the corridor and getting close to the gate, I heard my name being paged on the PA system to “board the flight immediately” or I would miss my flight. When I got to the gate, the gate agent told me I was just a few seconds from missing the flight. After boarding the plane and getting comfortable (and noticing there were many empty seats around me), I observed we were going nowhere fast. The flight attendant came on the intercom after a few minutes and said it would only be about twenty more minutes before the pilots would be on the plane and we would be leaving shortly after they arrived! Needless to say, I wondered why it was so important for me to be on the plane immediately when the pilots were nowhere in sight!

  91. Being told by AF gate agents in Dusseldorf after printing my boarding pass that I was in the exit row that I had reserved on my KLM flight from AMS to ATL. I am 6 foot eight inches tall. When I pointed out that that boarding pass didn’t say exit row, she swore up and down that I was in the exit row. So did her colleague. When I got on the plane, it was a cramped aisle seat. Thankfully, KLM FA’s were able to switch me to the first row in coach which had no seat in front, but I was a target for every cart that passed through.

  92. After watching my bright orange duffle being erroneously offloaded in Portland while on connecting flight from SLC-PDX-RNO, I informed FA that my bag was wrongly taken off plane. FA said “all bags have robe removed for security reasons”. When I saw that it was never reloaded, I informed FA. It was located on baggage carrousel, circling…. Flight was delayed while they retrieved my bag.

  93. The big ta-da email AA and USAir sent out saying the merger meant you could now use both airlines airport lounges — but failing to mention that they were excluding day passes. Major customer relations fail when I showed up with one and was turned away — only because my expectations had been raised.

  94. TSA deemed the flashlight that I use for work as a tactical weapon because it has some sort of pattern around the lens of the flashlight. They gave me the option to either leave it with them, or to have them escort me out of security and I could take it out to my car. I had them escort me out of security, but didn’t take it to my car. I simply unscrewed the portion of the flashlight that they deemed as a weapon, and put the two pieces back in my luggage. I then went through the same line with the same people, and got through without a problem. Seriously? My flashlight is not a weapon. I can do far more damage with my fist than I can with a 6″ flashlight.

  95. “We are unable to bring you towels since we let housekeeping go home for the evening” was told to me by the front desk staff at a chain hotel.

  96. I see someone said it, but I gotta – the sign telling you not to hang hangers on the fire sprinkler head.

  97. Husband and I went to a convention last week and he shipped his display materials two day air via UPS Wednesday. The boxes hadn’t arrived by Friday so he called to inquire where they were. Long story short they weren’t going to be delivered on Friday so husband said, “deliver them Saturday.”
    “Did you set it up for Saturday delivery?” UPS asked.
    “No, it was supposed to be delivered Friday,” husband replied.
    “Then we can’t deliver on Saturday,” UPS says.
    “Really? If I’d have known you weren’t going to deliver them on Friday, I would have set it up for Saturday delivery,” husband responds.
    No, they never arrived at the convention.

  98. it was lame of me to leave my ipod in the seat back pocket of a Southwest jet. It was even LAMER when, after exiting the jetbridge, I realized this and turned back on to have the cabin crew deny me entry. The wouldn’t even go back and look and told me to call the (800) number to see if a cleaner turned it in.

    Well, you can guess how that one turned out.

  99. For a unique twist on the dumbest thing I’ve ever been told by an airline, etc., I’ll instead report the dumbest thing I’ve ever told them.

    While flying recently as a lowly FO on Delta, I was sitting in the very first row of Economy Comfort right behind First Class and within feet of the First Class lavatory. Feeling the call of nature and while clearly eyeing that nearby lavatory, I asked the flight attendant where the nearest lavatory was. She briskly responded that the coach class lavatory was in the very back of the plane – a true statement, yet hardly an answer to my question!

    I slowly arose from my seat, turned quietly around, and somewhat reluctantly complied to make my way to the very back of the plane.

    When the food service cart then came around, I asked the same flight attendant for “the nearest Diet Coke and the nearest pretzels.” Ha!

    It’s best not to be a smart-alec to flight attendants and especially TSA (at such moments, they both have much more power over you than you over them), this time, I could not resist!

  100. Late into an International flight when 85% of folks were asleep, I walked to the back with my water cup and asked for a refill. I was told not to return for more water because they wouldn’t have enough for everyone else if I requested a third cup of water. Are you kidding! I laughed and returned for a third cup of water a couple hours later “-)

  101. Not surprised by @steve’s experience at Hampton Inn. I stayed at one in North Austin, TX last spring with elevators so antiquated and in need of replacement as to be unsuitable for human occupancy. When the hotel requested my check-out evaluation, I told them that I wouldn’t stay there until the elevators weren’t just repaired but replaced. Not having a plunger on hand is beyond ridiculous, too.

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