When you fly a ton it is amazing just what things you observe people do. There is a never ending thread on FlyerTalk with people putting (mostly) feet where they should not. Clearly feet do not belong on arm rests, tray tables or bulk head walls (and so on). Feet belong on the floor.
But that is an obvious one and everyone can agree with it. What about other things that may be OK to do at home but not in a metal tube 32000 feet up in the air. Let’s take a look at my list of things that are just not acceptable behavior (at least to me).
Trimming nails and other maintenance. Between the click-click-click or the nails flying around the cabin this is just not OK. Same thing comes to trimming nose hair or any other “maintenance” that is totally fine at home but not on-board.
Painting trimmed nails. Following up on the above, if you are someone who paints your nails, do not do this around me. My wife does this and yes it is nice but I don’t have to smell it and especially so in a confined space.
“Bathing” in perfume or cologne. You may think Channel #5 is the most amazing scent in the world but I do not. If you put it on at home and sit next to me it may be OK but liberally applying it next to me is going to give me a migraine.
Changing a baby anywhere in the cabin. I get that kids make a mess and the diaper needs to be changed. But do it in the lavatory. Do not do it on the tray table then toss the soiled diaper under the seat in front of you.
Bringing stinking meals on-board. I get the food in coach is not the best but if you are bringing something on-board that will perfume the entire cabin that is not OK. Eat it before you board please!
Flying too sick to fly (coughing). If you are so sick that you are running a fever, sneezing and coughing up a lung you should not be sitting next to me. I know changes fees stink but if you have to get a doctors note to help get that waived and not to get me infected with whatever bug you have!
Unruly children (kicking seats). You made the kid, so be a parent. If your bundle of joy is kicking my seat or playing whack-a-mole with the seat back IFE for hour after hour I am going to say something and you had better correct “little Johnny”!
Kids playing iPad movie without headset. I love Sponge Bob as much as anyone but not if I have to listen to the show on full blast next to me because you do not have a set of ear buds for your kid. This is one reason I always carry a spare set of free buds just in case – happy to share!
Using FaceTime or speaker phone. Everybody loves to keep in touch, we all understand the need to reach out to loved ones when traveling. Here’s the thing, I don’t love them like you do so I do not need to be included in your FaceTime conversation. Same goes for watching noisy videos of the kiddos on your phone or wandering the Skyclub while chatting via speaker phone. Again, keep in touch but do so quietly.
Fighting / arguing with spouse +1. Everyone is on edge nowadays when flying so having a row with your significant other is not helping an already tense environment. Just save the fight till you get off the jet.
Overly demanding with flight crew. I am not talking about a simple request or even one time hitting the “ding” button I am talking constantly bothering them or dinging over and over. If you need “that” kind of special attention, fly private.
Gymnastics or too much exercise in galley area. I understand we get a little bit stiff and I am not talking about a stretch or two waiting to go to the lavatory I am talking a mini-workout in the galley. You are not only bothering the flight crew but others who want to get past you.
So that is my list that I could come up with but I bet there are tons more. You tell me, just what is maybe OK to do in private but has no place on a plane? – René