I am in the mood for a good rant. A rant I think most readers will embrace (and maybe even add to the “Top 10”-ish list I have below. Why this rant now? Maybe I am becoming the old “fuddy duddy” I always told myself when young I would never become, but my patience is just running so thin when I travel nowadays. Here are the things that just irk me the most.
Feet on walls! The above photo is the place I just have to start. I take my shoes off inside the house as almost all Swedes do. Shoes go outside where all sorts of disgusting things live. I would never EVER dream of putting my feet, that have likely been in the airplane lav, on the walls. Nor would I ever control the IFE with my toes or such. Why are some folks so gross?
Getting up during taxi! I am sure all of us remember, a few years ago, when a dude had to pee so bad that it resulted of him getting kicked off a Delta flight. Well it seems Flyer Talkers are all up in arms about another person who did the same during taxi and the result was having to get out of line for take off. Here is the thing: I go before takeoff either before I board or as soon as I board. If you have a medical condition you are aware of – wear adult diapers when you fly.
Clipping nails (finger or, shudder, toes)! Now I know that it is hard to keep your nails in good condition. I mean you can get flesh eating bacteria going to a nail salon after all – but that does not give you the right to send parts of your body flying all over the cabin. Save the click – click – click for your hotel room (or Uber ride maybe?)!
Paint nails! How many times has someone, after doing the above nail clipping, then taken out nail polish and destroyed the cabin with the smell. While I am not one of those who are sickened (literally) by chemical smells, I know many folks really are impacted in a bad way. Please, again, save this procedure for your hotel room.
Feet on seats! I may get some heat for this one but why do so many kids seem to enjoy either standing on the seat or putting their feet on the seat. Yes, I know they can not touch the ground and that is not comfortable but if you must have your feet in the seat take your shoes off first and either keep your socks on or bring some if you’re wearing sandals. Same goes for “bendy” folks who contort themselves and put feet up in the seat.
Dogs or pets on seats! I do not care if they are ESA pets or paid carry-on pets or whatever – unless the creature has paid for a seat do not put them in the seat (or at the Sky Club bar). Am I wrong here? You tell me!
Change baby on the tray! This may be the one single mega gripe I have that I will, from now on, say something about if I ever see it again. The lav is the place for this – not where food goes. It is not like planes are that clean to begin with, but adding baby poo is the limit!
Encroaching on my space! If you are so big your body, any part of your body, pours into my space you need to buy two seats (even if we are talking 1st class). Same goes for arm rest. You do not have the right to take my and your armrest in 1st class (ok in coach the middle seat gets both but no more).
Coach flier uses 1st class overhead space! If you are boarding when 75%+ of the jet is empty, do not simply toss your bag up in the 1st class section then wander back into coach. Use the coach space above your own seat. I forgive this only when the jet is full and there is no space back in the main cabin.
Block all the foot space! I get the unofficial “rule” is that if your bag fits under the seat then it goes there not in the overhead. However, if your bag is so big (or you have two) and you take up your foot space AND my foot space – that is not OK. Find another space for that bag (just not up in 1st class). Or buy a bag that will fit under only your seat (like these maybe)!
Constant farting! I understand cabin pressurization makes us need to pass gas more than on the ground. But if you are having an issue – go to the lav – sit down and press the flush button a few times (it uses the air pressure to evacuate the offending smell) If you can, go use the lav in coach (ok kidding on the last bit – maybe)! 😉
Talk loud phone (facetime in club). I thank Delta over and over again for not allowing phone calls up in the air. On the ground it is amazing to me how loud folks can be on a jet. And while on the topic, you people who yell in clubs on facetime should be banned from flying – EVER!
Leave window shades open on night flights! I may take some heat from the “keep the shade open” gang on this one but I like to be able to watch a movie or work on my laptop. The shade up kills that. Makes me wish all jets had 787 type shades that allow you to see out even when darkened (as you can see above)!
Grab back of your seat when they get up! A dear friend of mine does this and I cringe every time I see it. See those things called arm rests? Use those as leverage to get up. Do not EVER grab my seat. It is not yours to abuse – I paid for my seat.
Phew. I feel so much better now. I love a good travel rant now and then. Is there any way to fix all of the above (or any of the above)? I doubt it. Sure you can gripe to the FA’s and maybe they will say something but most times I think they would just shrug and say – people!
What do you think? Is my rant-list the same as yours? Are there others that I missed that are rant worthy? Let us know (this should be fun)! – René
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